Candy Cane poopy...really. -
2005-01-27 - 8:58 a.m.
Candy Cane Poopy…A total mommy blog entry.
My friend J calls me and before we manage polite greetings we hear in the background “mommy, come look at my candy cane poopy”. I start to ask what that means and then stop myself “please DON’T tell me what that’s all about” She says it’s just missing the red stripes…Mmmmmm!
What my in-laws wanted to buy Mike for his Birthday.
He was sure that his mother was going to send him a gift certificate to Sybaris. His mother… for us…www.sybaris.com. I would spend the entire time feeling like Doris was standing there smiling at us. Apparently she thinks we could use a little “us” time. Now, I don’t KNOW what Mike says to them when they talk on the phone, but let’s take a wild guess, I’m thinking NOT our sex life, but apparently it seeps through the edges. This is really adding to the ick factor of flying out to visit them. If you are not from the Midwest and unfamiliar with Sybaris please oh please go visit their website so you understand the true horror of it all.
On a completely different note I have had a week filled with women who have the “oh I hate to bother my husband with the messiness of my little life” syndrome.
(If you are interested in a little rant please read on…otherwise, you may want to log off and check back later.)
Was I perfectly clear there? You should qualify for therapy, a 2-week trip to a sandy beach and a free divorce lawyer if any of the following are true.
*You MUST put on a clean shirt, make-up and brush your hair before he comes in the door at the end of the day.
*You don’t want to bother him with troublesome details like you haven’t slept in 3 days because you stay up until 3 a.m. doing laundry and church volunteer work because he doesn’t like you doing stuff like that during “family time”.
*You can really only go out on nights he is out of town or out of the house and you hire a babysitter, otherwise he expects you to be home with him (this despite the fact that he feels free to do things without you, after all you have all that free time during the day while he is working!).
*You can’t ask him to do things around the house because he freaks, you just need to hint around it and hope he volunteers because “He brings home the money, is it too much to ask that you take care of the house?”
*Lastly, if he qualifies his love for you based on your weight, your housekeeping skills, your income level or your ability to be able to stay awake long enough to have sex when exhausted after chasing 3 children under the age of 7 around all day, you get the extended 3 week vacation package.
Love is love guys. Weight loss, sex and dusting are really all icing on the cake if you can pull off the love detail.
Written by my overweight self from my dusty house….
Karen
