Penis on the Prairie -
2005-01-24 - 4:53 p.m.
Penis on the Prairie
The conference I went to for 48.5 hours this weekend was held in a building affectionately known to locals as…THE PENIS ON THE PRAIRIE. This may largely be a female thing, I wouldn’t know, as I couldn’t ask men, the conference was all women. Have I ever mentioned that I used to have problems with large groups of women? I appear to be completely over that problem.
I for one tended towards calling the building, the giant groaning penis on the prairie. It sounded like it was on the verge of orgasm for about 18 hours straight. Really. It is big tall and round, and apparently one of the earlier building made to be tornado proof in central Illinois with all interior metal construction. It was 30 floors of stressing, popping, cracking and yes…groaning metal. Just to add to the whole giant P illusion…the top 3 floor were restaurant and observation decks so they ballooned out larger than the building underneath it. Come on, what did the guy designing it think it would be compared to?
The conference celebrated women… women of many ethnicities, income levels and ages, cute little maidens taking “build your own spirit guide doll” workshops and crone’s taking classes where they journaled (can that really be a word?) about their lives. Personally, I played it safe and took relaxation yoga and “Women in business” instead of say, “Draping yourself in ritual garb” or “Where was your shirt made?” I really do care about sweatshop labor and I want to be one of the gals in the flowing robes, but for a freckle face from the Midwest sleeping in the creaking penis seemed like a big enough leap for one weekend. I got to drum, I got to dance wildly in a place where nobody paid attention to flapping body parts, (the body parts that aren’t supposed to be able to flap), I got to see a deaf woman do a sort of sign language/interpretive dance to a very moving song, I got to hang out with many cool chicks. In a year, I intend to do it all again. I swear next time though…I’m going to find something to wear that floooooooows.
